Trinity Pub. Charlottesville, Virginia

1505 University Avenue

Guinness Tag: $8.00 ? | Overall Rating: 1.85

Today's Dedicated Pint: Daria & Izzy

I'm not having much luck finding a great Pub so far here in Virginia, especially when it comes to simply closing out my tab to find out how much I just paid for a Guinness. I'll speak on that in a second, though. Let me start from the beginning of this atrocity these locally annoying college kids call the Trinity Pub.

I stopped in Charlottesville to check out Durty Nelly's, and after spending over $8 on a can of Guinness, I asked myself, "So far Charlottesville sucks (especially the traffic), if I don't hit up Trinity Pub near the campus, then that means I'd have to make an entire trip back here one day. Do I want to knock Trinity's out real quick? Or do I want to dedicate hours out of my time down the road and come back to this town? I chose to swing by Trinity Pub, despite running the risk of being late to a darts tournament taking place in Virginia Beach later that evening. The photos of Trinity Pub on Google made the place look like a worthy spot to bend the elbows in, and if you haven't caught my drift yet: I'm not the biggest fan of Charlottesville, or this place.

The commute from Durty Nelly's to Trinity's was supposed to be about 8 minutes. With all of the construction, traffic lights, and 25,000 college kids walking through the streets, those 8 minutes turned into 25. I paid five bucks in exchange for a parking spot in a small garage down the street, and I finally made it to the front door. The curb appeal is better in person than what my photo depicts, as it's nice and open, there's a balcony above, and it's alluring. I thought to myself, "Alright, phew, at least it looks like a good spot with a little charm."

As soon as I step foot inside the place, I realize I am the oldest person in here by about a decade, and I'm only in my mid-thirties, mind you. I think this was the first time in my life that I've ever had the feeling of being the "old guy" at the bar. Every chair and barstool was being taken by obnoxiously loud college kids. "Why the hell aren't you guys in class?" I venture to the end of the bar and get the bartender's attention. The 19-year-old looking kid comes up and asks, "What's up, man?" I ask for a Guinness, he

pours it in a small plastic cup, and I hand him my card (I ran out of cash, or else I would have given him a 20). As he's grabbing my card, I tell him, "It'll just be a one and done for me, thanks." He swipes it, gives it back, and walks away without giving me anything to sign for a tip or a receipt that says how much I paid for it. The last thing I wanted was to leave an open bar tab and have these kids go to town on it, haha. So, I stood there for another minute or two and wait to regain his attention. He walks over and says, "What's up?" I go, "Sorry man, I'll close out with you if you don't mind." He says to me, "Oh... we just slap a 20% gratuity on everyone's cards, so, you're good." I go, "No way, haha, I've never heard of that one before. I guess I'll fuck off then." I said it in a friendly way. You probably don't know me very well if you're reading this, which means you don't know how I act and speak in public, but trust me that I don't have it in my nature to be rude to innocent people. This college kid was innocent, and I figured that if the small chance of these kids running up drinks on my tab after I left, that I could have a fun conversation with the bar owner the next day to dispute the massive charge (which would have made this article an insanely entertaining one).

I took my Guinness and walked around the building. I noticed a weird room in the back (I'm still not sure what goes on in there), and I took a peek at the 2 other bars on the 2 floors above. Each floor has its own bar with its own separate college kids (both tending bar and drinking at it). You can tell this place gets packed like sardines with blistering loud music, dancing, and screaming/sweaty frat boys.

Every college town and city needs a place like this, so don't get me wrong, I get it. I guess I'm a little annoyed that the pictures on Google make the Pub look a bit proper with elegant food. Although, once you show up, you realize it's anything but nice, you feel out of place just for being out of school, and you spend every minute of your time waiting to finally get the hell out. The floor tiles and bar counter are neat, but neat for an ice cream parlor or something like that. This place shouldn't be labeled as an Irish Pub. It should be labeled as, "TPS." This Place Sucks.

I'm so glad I came here when I did, because if I spent hours out of a future road trip to come to this place and this place only, I would have blown a gasket. You'd think a place like this would put up a dart board or something, right? Nope. Please, take it from me, that this place is not worth your time. This is why I do what I do: so you can experience shitty Pubs like these without having to put your shoes on, open your wallet, and waste an afternoon. My promise to you: I will keep wasting a few of my afternoons on worthless Pubs so you don't have to. It's the most I can do. I'm off to a better barstool.

Slainte!