Four Green Fields. Tampa Bay, Florida

Tampa International Airport, 4215 Bessie Coleman Boulevard

Guinness Tag: $9.00 | Overall Rating: 8.35

Today's Dedicated Pint: Fran

My apologies for the lack of photos here. I lost many photos recently, but I am fortunate to have saved these two.

As I was heading to the Tampa International Airport to leave sunny, beautiful Florida to head home to the 40 degree, brisk and charming home of Cincinnati, I was certain that I had consumed my last pint of Guinness from my trip. After passing gas through security, I made my way towards the most depressing gate known to man, Frontier Airlines. It was the first and probably last time I will ever fly on a budget airline. It feels like you're riding on a bus, but in the air. It's cramped, the seats are stiff, it smells worse than Irish Bob's men's room, the people around you are even more annoying than normal (how that's even possible blows my mind), you have to pay for a coke, there is no WiFi, it's bumpy, it'll probably be delayed, and throughout the entire flight you'll be kicking yourself in the ass for not spending the few extra bucks to be seated with an airline who is focused on both safety and convenience rather than "Give me your money and f*ck off!"

I had to get that off my thorax, my apologies. Anyway, I headed toward the gate feeling like an idiot for my penny-pinching decision that I was about to endure, and I made my way to the toiletry. As I'm walking toward the end of the terminal, I notice what looks like a quiet little bar tucked away in the corner. "Holy fucking shit, it's an Irish Pub." I said to myself (I honestly may have spoken out loud). I think I've reached the point in my life that no matter where I go, if there's an Irish Pub sitting around: I'm going to find it whether I try to or not. The stars are now aligned (I just jinxed myself, damn it).

I forget about the fact that I have to pee, and I immediately grab a barstool. Before I could even order a pint, I am reminded of my failed mission to find the bathroom as the ripe smell of poo lingers within the air. Fran, my new favorite bartender of all time, comes up and says, "Sorry it smells like ass, there's a sewage leak next door. What are ye drinkin'?" I thought to myself, "What a lovely way to be asked for a refreshment." I ordered a Guinness and say, "It'll just be a 'one and done' for me," and proceed to put a $20 bill on the counter. As she's pouring the pint, she asks where I'm going and I tell her I'm flying to Cincinnati. She delivers the pint, looks at the twenty, then looks at me and says, "You're flying to Cincinnati? That means you're flying Frontier, you're going to need two of these. I'll leave your money where it lays for now." I busted out laughing. "Holy shit, this woman is awesome."

She poured a mean pint of Guinness and I noticed her accent. I asked where she was from and she said Ireland. Which checks, because she was one hell of a story teller. As I'm taking my first few sips, she goes, "Yesterday there was construction and I had to turn my hearing aids off. Today, there's a sewage leak. Tomorrow? Oh fuck, who knows." Another guy sits down and orders a Guinness as well, who she apparently sees all the time, as they chit chatted about his routine delays. He joked with her and said, "You didn't pour a shamrock on my head of Guinness." She replies, "A shamrock? That's just a weed. You like weeds?" The guy says, "I always gotta come here to see you for the good conversation before my flights, you know that, Fran." She goes, "No sir, you come here for the abuse, don't kid." I love this lady.

The construction guys from yesterday reappear and start working very loudly across the hallway. Fran says, "Oh fuck, they're back. If any of yous wear hearing aids, I strongly advise to take them out." Then she (what looked like) took out her hearing aids. I don't know if she actually took some out or if she was just kidding, but it was funny regardless. I ordered another pint, and by this time there are about five of us laughing with Fran. All I wanted to do was purposely miss my flight and listen to this woman's stories all day.

As I look around at the Pub itself, I realize how good it actually is. There's authentic signage on the walls, the glassware is branded with the Pub's logo, there's a history of Four Green Field's past on the counter, there's classic Irish music playing in the background, and I truly felt like I was in an Irish Pub rather than the airport. The barstools are even great. Don't kid, the bar's shelving is a bit generic and the countertop/tables are pretty bland, so the airport vibes are still in effect in some areas.

Regardless, these people actually did it. They managed to turn an airport bar into an Irish Pub worth boasting about. Don't get me wrong, there aren't many airport bars that I don't enjoy, as the "airport beer" is arguably one of the best beers in life. When you look at the most satisfying beers in life, I'd say the top five are:

• Post Lawn Mowing Beer: Hands down the most refreshing and satisfying beer you can experience.

• After Work Beer: Nothing beats it, especially for the blue-collar patriots.

• Tailgating Beer: The grill is fired up, the speakers are pounding with the best music, your buddies are tossing the football and playing cornhole, everyone's wearing jerseys, and you're about to watch your favorite team kick some ass. This beer is arguably number one.

• Airport Beer: There's just something about drinking an extremely overpriced brew before taking off on a plane, it just hits.

• Ballpark Beer: Baseball, hotdogs, hot sun, sounds of the organ, and the smell of the ballpark make for a perfect recipe for a perfect beer.

• The Shower Beer: Underrated and undervalued. Hot steamy water on the outside with cold suds on the inside? Yes, please.

• The 19th Hole Beer: The beers on the course are good, but they don't come close to the one in the clubhouse after kicking your buddy's ass on a clean $5 bet.

I got sidetracked there, my apologies yet again. Anway, Fran is living proof that a good bartender can make or break your bar/Pub. I've been to Pubs that have all the bells and whistles on the walls, dish up good-looking food, play folk music, yet provide such awful hospitality. I've been to other Pubs that are bare bones, don't sell food, and have gross curb appeal, yet provide some of the best hospitality out there. If you provide striking hospitality to everyone that enters your establishment, you are setting up the foundation for the Craic. When your Pub has the Craic, your Pub will be indelible. At the end of the day, people don't need the materials, they just need the love.

As I was paying out, I told Fran how much I enjoyed her company. She thanked me and briefed me on her ongoing cancer scares, as she's gone through many chemotherapies. She sadly (but in a charming way) told me she doesn't know how she's still kicking.

If you're ever in the Tampa Airport, then I demand you to visit Fran. For your sake, because my life is so much better having shared an hour with this absolute gem of a woman, and I want you to experience it, too. She now sits at the #1 spot on the "Best Bartender Tracker" on the homepage of my website, and something tells me she will be there for years, because I can't imagine anyone going toe to toe with her in regard to tending bar.

Slainte to Four Green Fields, to Fran, and to all who have that little bit of Irish in them. I'm off to another barstool.

I just remembered that I now need to hop on a Frontier plane. FUCK!! What a buzzkill.