Lucky Well. Hamilton, Ohio

10 South Monument Avenue

Guinness Tag: $8.00 | Overall Rating: 7.25

I'll be honest with you, I'm writing this article in real time (it's 10 a.m. Friday, June 26th). I'm typically a month or two ahead of time with my articles, and I have a few more waiting to be released before my massive upcoming trip to Boston/Bar Harbour in a few weeks, but I wanted to speak to you throughout my current situation of publishing my upcoming book, Stepping Foot Inside Every Irish Pub in America.

I've done many things in life, such as opening up a sports newspaper down in Charlotte, NC and a window washing company in Cincinnati, OH. Every time I've ever done something as such, I've always winged it and done it myself, and most of the time it would result in a subpar product, but a fun one, nonetheless. When I wrote my book, I said to myself, "Alright, I'm going to do this the right way." I found a local guy who's published many books in the past. I wanted this thing to look as professional as every other top seller out there. Huge mistake.

The guy turned out to be an incredible ignoramus. Missed deadlines, unprofessionalism, a shitty product, and a ridiculous last-minute contract. After about 7 months worth of wasted time, I was left with having to do the thing myself. Having zero experience in Adobe Photoshop, Adobe InDesign, creating a book cover, and transforming a book into "book form," I tested my hand at it. I'm so glad I did, because this product is 20x better than what the "professional" accomplished. What took him over 7 months and 330 pages, I did it in 55 hours and reduced the book down to 276 pages. My version has MUCH better aesthetics, more pictures, and more stories on top of it. I almost spent the rest of my life selling my book without realizing there was a MUCH better one waiting to be released in my back pocket. I can't wait for you to read it and hear your feedback. The thing turned out great, and it's about all of the Irish Pubs I've visited as well as a handful of incredible life stories that I've encountered, such as becoming the mascot for the Cincinnati Reds of Major League Baseball.

What I'm getting at here, is that if you want anything done the right way: do it yourself. Never rely on someone else to produce a product that means the world to you. Our ancestors went through hell to get you and I where we are today, and it would be a sin not to take advantage of it. Whatever your ambitions are in life, you HAVE to pull the trigger on them, no matter what. Especially with what's going on in the world as we speak.

I made the goal to Step Foot Inside Every Irish Pub in America a couple of years ago, and I've currently made my way into over 150 east of the Mississippi, in cities such as New Orleans, Charlotte, Chicago, Cincinnati, New York City, and many others. My first batch of Pubs started in Cincy, and this one is a new Pub that recently opened within the area. It means a lot to me, because in a way, it came back full circle. There are a couple of other Pubs that I'll be releasing from the immediate area, such as The Red Leprechaun, here in the near future. It's an exciting time to be alive here in The Drunken Mallard world, and I hope you follow along as this book launches here on July 4th and we really take this thing full fledge. The goal of visiting every Irish Pub in America started as a joke, but it's now an actual thing, and I'm going to do it.

The Lucky Well, in Hamilton, Ohio, opened less than a year ago, and I remember talking to one of the owners of a local burger joint, called, "Billy Yanks," while I was selling bourbon. He bought my product, we became instant friends, and he told me about his upcoming project: The Lucky Well. I then told him about The Drunken Mallard, and the rest is history.

The wife and I stumbled in on an overcast day, right when they opened. The Pub is placed at a really neat geographical spot, but the curb appeal probably needs another year to develop if you ask me. I think there are many things they could do to make it pop and deliver the message that there is an Irish Pub here. Once you walk inside, you realize it's a proper Pub with incredibly great wallpaper throughout the dining room. We headed straight to the bar, ordered a Guinness and a cocktail. The Guinness was served in a traditional pint glass, and it was poured beautifully. The staff was engaging, and they even gave us some samples of a few products they recently entered into a local cocktail tournament. They were delicious. The staff is friendly, the dining room is fantastic, the food is magnificent, and the toiletries are prime. My setback (mind you, this is just my opinion), is the bar itself.

As you bend your elbows at the bar, you'll notice the area is almost too clean. I've never said something like that before, but I'm not really talking about cleanliness, but more so the lack of patina. Mind you, the Pub has only been open for less than a year, so it's not their fault. We need to let the thing develop over time, and it will. However, when you look to your right, you'll notice a few windows with the most hideous curtains of all time, they look like they're outdated for a nursing home, let alone a brand-new drinking establishment. You'll also notice a bunch of bare drywall. In the bar area (to be specific), there are essentially zero pictures, decor, or anything on the walls, leaving you with nothing to look at outside of the TVs. On top of that, it took them about 30 minutes to turn any of the TVs on, which is always a gripe for me. I've managed many restaurants in my life, and you can bet your ass that all of my TVs would be turned on and placed on the best channels by the time we opened our doors. If I were to open a Pub, there's not a chance in hell I'd open it without an abundance of decor on the walls by opening day. I hate it when Pubs leave empty space. It's kind of like "dead air" in the radio industry: you just can't have it. The dining room is great, though, the walls and decor are fitting. I'm specifically talking about the bar area here. (Which is where you'll essentially always find my ass).

That's my biggest gripe. Hamilton, Ohio has a vastly diverse group of demographics, ranging from crackheads to wealthy businessmen. You'll find both everywhere you go. I used to manage a restaurant right down the street, actually. One time, when I went in to open my restaurant at 6 a.m., I found a meth head in a wheelchair passed out right in front of my front door, forcing me to kick his wheels to wake him up. It was frustrating. Don't get me wrong, I like Hamilton, but it certainly gets some flack from the others. It's just something you have to deal with. Its most well-known person in real time is a dude that goes by the name, Slim Jesus, and I'll let you research him for yourself. It's embarrassing.

The food we ordered was fantastic, the Guinness and Smithwicks we drank hit the spot, and the hospitality was better than most. This place is certainly worthy of your time. I can't possibly tell you that it's a destination, but if you're within the area then I'd happily tell you to dedicate a half an hour toward it. It's worth an afternoon, and I'm confident it'll only get better throughout the years. It's still new, so we need to give it a grace period. It's on the right track. I just hope they make the bar area a little more unique. The glassware, the barstools, and the countertop scream proper, but if they added a few touches that make the place more local, intimate, and cozy, then this place has the potential to be rated over a 9. 100%. I'm glad I live nearby, because I'm totally coming back here in a year or two.

As much as I'd love to put every Pub I visit on the "Highest Rated Pubs List," I can't. This one is close. Don't dedicate a weekend's worth of time getting here, but if you live in Hamilton, then you'd be an idiot not to show your face every once in a while.

The closest Irish Pub to Ireland here in the States is in Bar Harbour, Maine, which makes sense. I'm about to drive there, making pit stops in Buffalo, Syracuse, Boston, Salem, and Providence along the way. Things are ramping up in The Drunken Mallard world, and I can't wait to continue this journey with you. If you haven't already, please become a Craic Addict, it's free, and essentially all it means is that I'll email you once a week to let you know whenever I stepped foot inside a new Irish Pub.

I want to give a shout out to my buddy, Brandon, for being my biggest supporter to date. With that being said, I'm off to another barstool. I'll talk to you soon.

Slainte.