O'Neil's on Wells. Chicago, Illinois
- The Drunken Mallard
- Aug 28
- 4 min read
411 South Wells Street
Guinness Tag: $9.00 | Overall Rating: 7.85
Today's Dedicated Pint: Ms. Ping
O'Neil's is a perfect scratch to the itch for anyone walking around the Willis (Sears) Tower in the morning looking for a hideout. Family owned for over 40 years now, they open at 10am and they sell pizza by the slice, "Reggie's by the Slice," actually. Get here early though, because this place seems to fill up by 11:30am. We snagged a barstool right at about 10:15 in the morning and people started piling in by the minute on a Thursday.
Despite it not being listed on the "Highest Rated Pubs List", I do enjoy this place. I'd probably frequent here if I worked in the area. I wouldn't come every week, but you'd definitely see my face every month or so. Maybe if their dart team invited me to play, then perhaps I'd show up every week! Yes, apparently a group of guys come in every week to throw Steel Tip Darts and word has it that they're pretty good. They fortuitously left their darts by the Winmau Blade 6 and I threw a few sets with them until the bartender said "wait, where did you find those?" I replied with, "they were left in the board overnight, I guess someone got a little drunk and forgot their darts!" She goes, "oh, yeah, they do that a lot." It's too bad I couldn't play one of them in a match. Maybe one day! (Fellas, your darts are a hair-above "bar darts", there's nothing wrong with throwing cheap/crappy darts, but if you're going to throw every week, then do yourself a favor and get a decent set, or at least new flights and stems. Come on now.)
Anyway, let's rewind a bit and start from the beginning of the O'Neil experience. It sits in the Dixon Building, which was constructed in 1908 and has seen better days. It's near a few CTA stations and it's very accessible to arrive by foot. I wouldn't want to take a car here, though. The curb appeal is inviting with a little patio, umbrellas, awnings, string lights, and a small foyer. It sits on a quieter street inside a heavily foot trafficked area, but it's not that quiet.
Once you walk in, you'll notice the place's unexpectedly large interior. The long bar counter on your left will hold about 30 or so patrons as it overlooks TVs, Irish flags, and sports decor. If you're in the market for a pretty boring shirt for $20 bucks, then you've come to the right place! Reggie's Pizza is in the back where you can order at the counter, and across from the dough pressing is the lovely, small toiletry that has been through the wringer. Overlooking the bar and pizza counters are a handful of high-top tables, drink railings, and both Steel-Tip and Soft-Tip dart boards. The ceilings are tall and the light fixtures throughout the place are worthy of a jot.
The natural lighting in here is nice, as the sun isn't blinding at any point (I can't speak for the evening time.) The default music is nice as well, giving you some Billy Idol and classic rock. I would gladly make this one of my NFL Sunday stops as O'Reily's is clearly prepped for intense gameday watching. Whether you're a Bears, Blackhawks, or baseball fan; you'll probably enjoy yourself here, especially if you're looking for the type of environment where you can throw a few F-Bombs and not have to worry about a Karen giving you the stank face.
Along the walls you'll find mirrors as well as green and yellow paint. The colors remind me of The Crow's Nest in Cincinnati =). Unlike The Crow's Nest, though, the Guinness here comes in a can due to not having a single draft beer behind the bar. The drinks were served with a smile and friendly chatter. The whiskey selection is average at best, if I'm being nice. Nobody here needs anything over the top, so there's nothing wrong with their drink selections by any means. Although a single tap of Guinness or Smithwick's would be ideal if I were to consider frequenting.
I'm not going to tell you to carve time out of your day to check O'Neil's out. There are at least 6 other Pubs that I'd strongly advise stepping foot into before this one while touring Chicago. However, if you're in the heart of downtown and you do happen to have a little time, then yes: grab some lunch here, especially if there's an MLB day game going on.
There's not enough history or unique charm to the place for it to be considered "better than most," but you'll definitely find some Craic if you're searching for it. Thanks, O'Neil's, we had fun. Slainte!
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